We've all got problems, especially us...the "Chief Engineer's of Laundry." Let's face it, any woman who is blessed enough to have children (or a husband for that matter) is going to encounter laundry problems. I don't mean problems such as stains, or rips, or an occasional button that has popped off...I mean the real problem...those hampers are NEVER empty. It must be nice to have a "Laundry Fairy" to just take care of all of your laundry needs. My family lives under a complete delusion that this fairy exists...and I continue to fly under the radar with my wings made from fabric softener sheets, and my cape smelling highly of Tide detergent. That's right, I AM THE LAUNDRY FAIRY!!
Let's back it up a little bit and be honest with ourselves, if WE didn't do the laundry, then who would? NOBODY, that's right!! Yep, my hubs would most definitely swing on by the Wally World on his way home and simply purchase himself new socks, underwear, and whatever else he needed. My kids would probably keep re-wearing their clothes until the smells become unbearable...then they would simply be happy becoming nudists. Apparently, the washer and dryer have some kind of secret FBI-like technology attached to the knobs that only respond when I place my hand upon it. Nobody in my house can seem to figure out how to run a load of laundry, so I fight this fight alone...just me against Mt. Laundria. It is a climb like no other...and just when I feel like I am reaching the summit, one of my kids tosses a pair of dirty underwear in my direction.
IT NEVER ENDS....NEVER!
I would like to think that one day some fabulous technology will just take care of all of this laundry...all by itself. Who am I kidding, I would just appreciate it if my hubs and crumb snatchers could simply find the hamper all by themselves. They seem to be very accomplished in finding the floor...wherever they may be when the desire strikes to undress. Yeah, they are excellent at that! The actual act of "picking up and placing into the hamper" is a motor skill that needs sharpening in this current generation of young people.
In the meantime...I'm just going to be perfectly honest with you...
The climb is real, and it is tough, it is smelly, it is dirty, and it is seldom appreciated (unless my hubs actually runs out of clean clothes). Nobody ever said it was going to be easy...or that it was going to be worth it in the end, but somehow, I like to think I am helping society, one clean sock at a time.
Here is what I know...
1. The struggle is real.
2. The job sucks.
3. Being "Chief Engineer of Laundry" is a crappy job.
4. Skid marks sometimes require 2 rounds in the washer.
5. Chewing gum doesn't wash well...or dry well for that matter...UGH!
6. Crayons don't wash or dry well either.
7. Ammunition can be washed and dried without killing anyone (my son "Johnny Cash" likes to leave all kinds of things in his pocket...see #5-6 above)
8. Any amount of cash or change found in the dryer mysteriously disappears and is NOT returned to it's potential owner (The Laundry Fairy really enjoys tips, just saying...).
9. There is not one thing truly "magical" about being the actual "fairy."
10. I am blessed to have a healthy family that continues to keep the Laundry Fairy in business.
So, I will proudly continue wearing my wings and my cape, and I promise to keep climbing even though I KNOW in my heart, I will truly never conquer Mt. Laundria...let's stick together ladies, and keep climbing!
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