the Laundry Fairy is up next on the Blog Tour...fasten your seat belts!

The next stop on the Blog Tour is apparently in my laundry room!!  Mackenzie from Mommy Needs a Swear Jar asked me to be the next stop on her blog tour.  Mackenzie writes the most fabulous blogs, is totally relatable...and occasionally lets a curse word or two slip out, but promptly adds money to her swear jar for safe measure.  I just love her blog and her humor, and the way her writing sucks me in.  Thanks Mackenzie for asking me to keep this tour going and dropping asking me to take a turn in the hot seat.

1.  What are you working on?  To be completely honest, what I am working on right this very moment is putting away stacks of laundry.  I am sure you meant, what am I working on, as in actually writing about, but I was just being honest.  So, back to the question...I will try to answer it better.  I am currently writing a little blog post about my son.  I'm not one to post on serious, lovey dovey stuff, but this one will be kind of like that.  I'm almost done with it...and not sure what is next in line on the writing front.

2.  Why do I write?  I am a stay at home mama with a house full of chores, and laundry, and groceries, and dust...and am completely alone from the hours of 8-3.  I have lots of thoughts throughout the day about scheduling, and cooking, and washing windows, and scrubbing toilets, and cleaning out closets...BUT sometimes I just want to sit and write.  It makes me happy.  Letting the words magically go from my head, down my neck, through my arms and spit out of the tips of my fingers onto the keyboard.  It is quite magical how that happens.  My 3 children (12 year old son, and 10 year old twin daughters) give me endless stuff to think and write about.

3.  How does my writing differ from others in my genre?  I try to focus my writing on more of a storytelling style.  I want you to be able to visualize exactly what I am talking about.  Almost as if you are in the room with me, as I am telling you a story.  I love descriptions, and I want my readers to feel as if they are truly connected.  If it happens to me, then it could most certainly happen to them.  I don't want to give advice or try to solve the world's problems, I just want to share a little laugh through my personal experience.

4.  How does my creative process work?  I very seldom sit down and make a draft of anything without finishing it and posting it.  I don't like to have something started, just sitting there waiting for me to wrap it up.  I get ideas for posts when I am driving down the road, or in the check out line at the grocery store, and sometimes when I lay down to try to go to sleep...they just simply come to me.  I find myself making notes and jotting down ideas whenever they strike.  People watching has proven to give me some of my best material...that, as well as watching my own spawn interact with each other.

Since I hate talking about myself, I can say I am thrilled to be able to pass the tour on over to these fine bloggers.  Go over and check them out...you won't be let down.


Life With the Bearded J's
Meet Jenny!!

1. I am a SAHM to three kids, 2 dogs, 5 fish and one bearded man-child. My days are hectic but I wouldn't trade any of it for all the peaceful days in the world. Well maybe I'd trade them for one day. Just one day though, anymore and it may turn into a lifetime. Don't judge me!

2. I just recently celebrated my 1 year SAHM-AVERSARY. I remembered it but no one else did. Story of my life, so next year I'm sending out memos; I expect a party. I am always looking for a reason to celebrate, once a year on my birthday is not enough. I love a good fiesta!

3. I enjoy body art. I love tattoos and piercings but I also understand that society is not as receptive to them as I am. All my tattoos are easily covered and my piercings are removable. My kids have asked if they can get a tattoo or a piercing when they get older. I tell them they can do whatever they want to their body when they're 18. But I do ask they come see me first, so we can talk about it and I can educate them. I think that right there, sums up my parenting method and who I am as a person.

Find Jenny on Facebook.

Chronically Sick and Sometimes Manic Mother
Meet Erin!!

1.  I would not consider myself a Christian, but a lot of people assume I am.

2.  I really am not a people person.  I like company, but I also am obsessive about having just me by myself time too.  I have been accused of hiding in my room so many times I can't count.

3.  Writing is theraputic for me.  That it helps another person in their struggle, only encourages me to keep at it.  I really don't think of myself as a really good writer.

Find Erin on Facebook.




Sister Serendip
Meet Gina!!

1.  One day last spring I was holding my four year old on my lap and trying to take some lovey-dovey Mama-daughter selfies when suddenly my iPhone started freaking out and taking pictures non stop.  Hilarity ensued, particularly this picture of me saying something like, "What the hell did I do to this phone?  Daddy's going to kill me."  It might be one of my favorite pictures of myself.

2.  All I've ever really wanted was to be a Mom and some sort of artist, particularly an actress.  (I honestly didn't put any thought into the marriage part of my grown-up life, but have amazingly lucked out in that department.)  I now have two daughters and three sons so the first part of that wish has been fulfilled fivefold.  I wrote my blog and act in a local social justice theatre company.  I'm super proud of my participation in North Jersey's Listen to Your Mother performances last May, presenting an essay I wrote called "Adoptive Parents are Assholes Too."

3.  Sometimes I feel like my blog is all over the place.  Most of the time I'm talking about cooking or crafts or the wacky shenanigans of our large creative family.  But since larger, more serious issues are an integral part of my life:  interracial adoption, attempts at maintaining an open adoption after foster care, surviving rape, I don't ever deny them and speak openly of them as well.

Find Gina on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

And that concludes this stop on the Blog Tour, as I pass it on to these 3 lovely bloggers.  Thanks again Mackenzie for including me on this tour!

Love and Laundry, and wishing you empty hampers,
the Laundry Fairy!

Reclaiming the Fridge

So, I find myself in the middle of the kitchen, just praying that what I uncover won't lead me into a raging fit of the dry heaves.  What lies behind those tightly closed doors is a mystery.  A mystery I must face alone, because no one else in my family has the guts to take it on.  It must be reclaimed...immediately.

I have reached the point of no return and have decided to just take on the fridge head on.  No more distractions, no more excuses...just jump right in.  The dreaded clean out of the refrigerator has GOT to be done.  And unfortunately, I am the one that has to do it.  

Let's be honest with one another...it's a little daunting mixed with a lot of scary.

Anyway, I suck it up...I open the door...

And this is what I saw...

I don't really remember the last time I honestly did it without any hesitation...without giving it any forethought first.  I'm a planner by nature...so this sudden urge to clean out the fridge kinda caught me by surprise.  

I forged on...

  
I don't even remember what the circumstances were that led me to the disturbing sights and smells of this inevitable catastrophe that lays before me.  Maybe it was the fact I couldn't locate my coffee creamer this morning...or that Chatty Cathy had to take out 5 things just to reach the milk.  All I know is it is time for a clean out.  I'm a little frightened about what I may actually uncover, but still... 

I forge on...

I cleaned out that nasty refrigerator.  I showed it who is boss in this kitchen.  Sure, when I uncovered those aluminum foil laden dishes, I heaved...I put my nose in the collar of my t-shirt...and I maybe even threw up a little in my mouth, BUT I got it done.  I found leftovers that I couldn't even  identify. Some stuff I couldn't even imagine eating the first time...that smell!!! 

Was it...pasta?...chicken?...penicillin?...

In the end, it was totally worth it.  Wow, I even found my coffee creamer...and my whipped cream cheese!!! This calls for a full blown celebration of sorts. Perhaps I will brew a cup of coffee and sip it as I revel in my masterpiece!!!

BUT WAIT...

There is just one thing that is missing.  The fridge just wouldn't be the same without my little friends inside.

There...that's MUCH better!!! 

xoxo,

-the Laundry Fairy

Bathroom Pet Peeves of a Parent

There is nothing in the world quite like a nice hot shower, or a fabulous soak in the tub.  Is it?  Oh, you don't remember???  

You must be a parent, am I right?

Let me refresh your memory.  

BEFORE you had children, you could take a shower or a bath ANYTIME of the day.... uninterrupted.  If you think really hard, you can remember how nice it felt to have your favorite soap lathered up on your skin.  Ahhh, that smell of your favorite scent of expensive bath salts.  Remember how great it was to wash your hair and have time for the conditioner to sit on there for 2 minutes before you rinsed?  Let me take you back even further...remember when you had time to shave your ENTIRE leg....WITH a nice, creamy shaving gel???  

Time passes, and you become a parent.  You are truly blessed, beyond measure really....but you miss that alone time in the bathroom.

The days of showering alone are GONE.

The days of peeing alone are LONG GONE.

But those things you can kind of get used to after awhile of being a parent.  I mean, you become immune to the stares as you sit upon the throne.  You almost expect the shower curtain to be pulled back at least twice as you are trying to bathe.  If it doesn't happen, then you start to worry which kid has killed the other...because quiet children usually means there is trouble brewing. 

I've been doing this parenting thing for over 12 years now, and I haven't had many alone moments in the bathroom since.

Here is a list of bathroom pet peeves since becoming a parent:

1.  POLLY POCKET.  I don't like the creepy way she stares at me from the corner of the tub.  It's almost as if she is sizing me up, laughing at me.  It makes me just want to pop her little head off.  Instead of choosing violence, I just turn her around so she faces the wall.  Creepy!

2.  BARBIE.  Just as bad as the little Polly Pocket doll, there is the ever smiling Barbie.  She is positioned on the edge of the tub....with her unrealistically perfect body.  That girl hasn't aged a darn bit.  Barbie, with her perfect hair and stylish bathing suit...looks like the cover girl for Sports Illustrated....and SHE is staring at me as I shower.  I mean, get a life Barbie?  Don't you have a mansion or airplane you would rather be at?  Shouldn't she be out on a date with Ken and NOT in my shower?  

3.  BEVERAGES.  Just the other day, there was an empty 12 oz. can of soda in the corner of the shower.  This week, there is an empty 20 oz. screw top in there.  Before I had children, I NEVER had such things surrounding me while I showered.  Apparently, somebody was thirsty.  Whatever.

4.  HOT-WHEEL CARS.  You know, those things hurt when you step on them...and they kinda move, quickly,  making you do a split in the shower.  This body of mine isn't capable of doing a split, unless it is a direct result from stepping on top of a miniature version of the General Lee...in a puddle of water.  It is a wonder I haven't completely killed myself at times.

5.  BAND-AIDS.  If you are a parent, then there really isn't any need for me to elaborate on this.  But, for those of you who aren't blessed to be a parent, let me fill ya in.  Kids will remove band-aids while in the tub and totally use them as stickers all on the shower walls.  This totally grosses me out.  Gag.

6.  EXPENSIVE SOAP.  Once you have kids, your liquid soap supply will skyrocket.  And by "skyrocket" I totally mean that they will squirt about 3/4 of a bottle out per bath.  And if you think I am kidding, I am NOT.  So, your nice, expensive soap that you used to love....well, tell it goodbye, because you will no longer be able to support their habit.  I suggest going bulk, and cheap.  Oh, and hide your own personal supply under lock and key if you are intent upon using it.  Kids "borrow" and destroy a bottle of Bath and Body Works soap in 2.8 seconds.  

7.  SALON GRADE SHAMPOO.  Just do me a favor and read #6 again.  Insert shampoo where you see the word "soap" and there you have it.

8.  SHAVING GEL.  Do yourself a favor this time, and don't even bother to purchase it.  If you do buy it, one of 2 things will happen.  Either the kids will find it and use it to draw all over the shower walls....or, you just plain won't have enough time alone in the shower to actually use it for it's intended purpose.  Save yourself some money and just get a nice razor and go for it with water alone.  

9.  PUDDLES.  Go ahead and set aside a few extra thousand dollars in an account just for replacing your bathroom floor every few years.  Trust me on this one, I don't care how many rugs and towels you use to cover the floor, it WILL get wet.  It WILL rot.  There will be more water outside the tub than inside the tub, and this will be a frequent occurrence.  You will wonder how they do it.  You will never figure it out.  Just start saving now.  You are welcome.  

10.  HOT WATER.  Forget about taking a hot shower or bath EVER again.  It doesn't matter if you have ONE kid or 6, you will run out of hot water.  Most of it will end up on the floor, lol, how about that irony?  


So, I leave you today to ponder the wonders of children, and bathrooms.  How do they do it?  How will us parents survive?  I don't know.  

In the meantime, I hope you can take a nice, long, uninterrupted, HOT shower.

Love, 
the Laundry Fairy

Proof...Yeah, I've got it!

It was just another normal evening.  

The kids had enjoyed another hot, sweaty, NC afternoon of fun.  

I've got proof...

Country living kind of fun...you know, burning a big trash pile on the edge of a soybean field, kicking up dust with the 6 wheeler, playing princess, and even hurling themselves onto a homemade tarp slip and slide complete with baby oil and soap suds...

Yeah, we totally know how to have fun...and we are quite good at it.  And after a day full of making memories, my bathroom floor is proof of every single one of them.

I've got proof...

The off-white porcelain tiled floor is cool to the touch, but if it could talk, it would tell such warm stories of the happy feet that have traipsed over it throughout the day.  To a passerby, it would appear that the floor is just full of dirty clothes, but to me, those clothes tell a story.  

I've got proof...

In the far corner, there is a boy's pair of basketball shorts, inside out, with a muddy paw print on the left thigh.  I'm pretty certain this means that at some point my son played a game of fetch with our beloved labrador...who I am sure accidentally missed my son's hand when he wanted to "shake" with his paw.  Laying relatively close to those shorts in the corner, is a balled up NCSU t-shirt.  It smells faintly of a distinct mixture of diesel fuel and Axe body spray.  It has perfectly placed sweat stains below the left side of the neck hole...for that's the part of the shirt that he grabs and uses to wipe his face when he sweats.  From observing his shirt, there is no doubt that my boy mowed the grass today, and it was HOT.  I gather up these clothes in my arms and am grateful that my son knows both how to play hard, and work hard.

I've got proof...

On the edge of the tub is a perfectly placed colorful sundress...the kind with a skirt that has just enough soft pleats to allow the perfect amount of blouse at a 9 year old girl's ankles, as she twirls like a princess.  It's colors are perfectly matched for the personality of the girl who chose to wear it...fun, bold, and playful.  I love how a simple dress can make any moment turn into an event worthy of a royal court...the potential to use her imagination has been clinging to her small frame all day long...and I love it.  On the counter, next to the sink, are two purple hair clips that have held her beautiful, thick locks of hair out of her face as she played.  Earlier in the day, those clips began higher in her hair, but after a few rounds on the swing set, the clips began to slide down.  And that's more than ok, because sometimes you have to just let your hair down and have some fun.  I'm grateful for her beautiful spirit that fills this house with grace and laughter.  This daughter of mine certainly had fun! 

I've got proof...

In the threshold of the bathroom door, another piece of evidence lays, awaiting to be discovered.  There is yet another sundress, but this one is different.  This one has a few mud stains right along the bottom hem...likely acquired when this little girl hopped on her brother's 4 wheeler to take a quick spin.  The colors on this particular dress are more on the subdued side, but the cut is more than stylish.  This dress is roomy enough to run across the freshly cut grass, straddle the seat of a 4 wheeler, or bend completely over to reach your toenails for a fresh paint job.  As a matter of fact, there is a tiny drop of turquoise nail polish...neighboring right up against one of those mud stains.  I am grateful for this adventurous girl of mine that can always find fun, and is always willing to share in her joy.  Her dress tells a story...a wonderful day of events, and mishaps, that will surely be filed in my daughter's memory bank.

I've got proof...

At the end of the day, when the kids are tucked in and my house is quiet, I like to think that my children are dreaming of their future adventures...and the fun that they will share together...

The fun that they will share with ME!

Eventually, the clothes will make it to the hamper, and likely overflow, while awaiting their turn for a wash.
All the while, my bare bathroom floor will wait patiently to be the landing spot for the next chapter of Summer memories...memories so cleverly disguised as dirty laundry. 

I've got proof...

XOXO,
the Laundry Fairy



  

Down and Dirty...Laundry Style

We've all got problems, especially us...the "Chief Engineer's of Laundry."  Let's face it, any woman who is blessed enough to have children (or a husband for that matter) is going to encounter laundry problems.  I don't mean problems such as stains, or rips, or an occasional button that has popped off...I mean the real problem...those hampers are NEVER empty.  It must be nice to have a "Laundry Fairy" to just take care of all of your laundry needs.  My family lives under a complete delusion that this fairy exists...and I continue to fly under the radar with my wings made from fabric softener sheets, and my cape smelling highly of Tide detergent.  That's right, I AM THE LAUNDRY FAIRY!!

Let's back it up a little bit and be honest with ourselves, if WE didn't do the laundry, then who would?  NOBODY, that's right!!  Yep, my hubs would most definitely swing on by the Wally World on his way home and simply purchase himself new socks, underwear, and whatever else he needed.  My kids would probably keep re-wearing their clothes until the smells become unbearable...then they would simply be happy becoming nudists.  Apparently, the washer and dryer have some kind of secret FBI-like technology attached to the knobs that only respond when I place my hand upon it.  Nobody in my house can seem to figure out how to run a load of laundry, so I fight this fight alone...just me against Mt. Laundria.  It is a climb like no other...and just when I feel like I am reaching the summit, one of my kids tosses a pair of dirty underwear in my direction.

IT NEVER ENDS....NEVER!

I would like to think that one day some fabulous technology will just take care of all of this laundry...all by itself.  Who am I kidding, I would just appreciate it if my hubs and crumb snatchers could simply find the hamper all by themselves.  They seem to be very accomplished in finding the floor...wherever they may be when the desire strikes to undress.  Yeah, they are excellent at that!  The actual act of "picking up and placing into the hamper" is a  motor skill that needs sharpening in this current generation of young people.   

In the meantime...I'm just going to be perfectly honest with you...

The climb is real, and it is tough, it is smelly, it is dirty, and it is seldom appreciated (unless my hubs actually runs out of clean clothes).  Nobody ever said it was going to be easy...or that it was going to be worth it in the end, but somehow, I like to think I am helping society, one clean sock at a time.  

Here is what I know...

1.  The struggle is real.
  
2.  The job sucks.  

3.  Being "Chief Engineer of Laundry" is a crappy job.

4.  Skid marks sometimes require 2 rounds in the washer.

5.  Chewing gum doesn't wash well...or dry well for that matter...UGH!

6.  Crayons don't wash or dry well either.

7.  Ammunition can be washed and dried without killing anyone (my son "Johnny Cash" likes to leave all kinds of things in his pocket...see #5-6 above)

8.  Any amount of cash or change found in the dryer mysteriously disappears and is NOT returned to it's potential owner (The Laundry Fairy really enjoys tips, just saying...).

9.  There is not one thing truly "magical" about being the actual "fairy."

10.  I am blessed to have a healthy family that continues to keep the Laundry Fairy in business.



So, I will proudly continue wearing my wings and my cape, and I promise to keep climbing even though I KNOW in my heart, I will truly never conquer Mt. Laundria...let's stick together ladies, and keep climbing!